tw for child abuse
It is not discipline to spank a kid. I assure you that my position on this issue is clear. Parents do not have a right to lay a hand on their children, because they already have a control over their kids already.
It does not require physical force to discipline a child, especially younger children. When I was spanked, I cried for fucking hours. That trust gets ruined with spanking, and eventually it escalates to further violence, like my dad smacking me across the face even when I was 16. It honestly ruined me when I was a kid.
another point: real respect (which is what will make your child truly mind you) is not gained through fear of pain. my cousin minds his mother, but only around her due to not wanting to get hit. he badmouths her behind her back so the “punishment” is really just a discipline halfway house and it’s lazy and ineffective unless you want kids that kiss up to your face but disobey you wherever they may not get punished in such a way (my cousin & my siblings serve as good examples).
also me, i was spanked and belted as a child and look how i turned out.
I respect your opinion, but I disagree. My dad spanked me when I was a kid. This was balanced out with positive parenting techniques as well, so I grew up thinking my dad was great, but I also respected the fact that he was going to lay down the law if I got out of hand.
My mother never spanked me, because she had a real “be a best bud, not a parent” gimmick going on, and didn’t do much more than yell at me as a child. This really did nothing, because I was pretty good at screaming back, so instead of putting me inline, she sent me to shrinks, who then put me on prescription meds, which basically ruined my entire childhood by altering my brain chemistry and turning me into what I am today. To this day, I don’t consider my mother a “mother”, she’s more like this older chick that I can talk to and who lends me money now and then if I’m in a tight spot, and who I lend money to now and then. If she ever actually firmly told me to do something, or told me that something I’m doing with my life was wrong, I’d probably laugh in her face and tell her to go fuck herself. Contrarily, if my dad was still alive and told me to get my shit together, I’d do it doublequick.
I’m sorry to the kids out there that are ruined by spanking, or who get spanked and the aggression turns into beatings. I don’t believe that is always the case, however, and I still don’t believe a parent should spend time in prison for using it as an occasional highest form of discipline. -E
But it’s respect based on fear… To me that’s morally reprehensible.
Esepcially seeing as any act of violence in any other context means there’s a lack of respect for that person you’re hitting, but for some reason when it comes to parenting, it means they love you and are just disciplining you for your own good and is accepted?
I’m really glad that you were able to take something positive from being smacked as a child because not everyone is as lucky, as you know! But I still vehementy disagree with the notion that raising your hand in anger or frustration to anyone, never mind your own child, is okay.
My dad spanked me when I was a child. My mother was never strict even to the point she couldn’t ground me properly. I can count on my hand the number of times I was spanked. All of them were for reasons to protect me. Such as one time when I was 3 I thought it was funny to run in front of moving cars. I was told and told not to do it and when I still wouldn’t listen I was spanked. And I never even thought to do it again. I was never scared for life and I have never felt wronged by my dad who spanked me. I feel bad that some children were spanked for much less important reasons (than to save a life of a disobedient child) and they have come to being beaten. My dad would always whisper to me why I was getting spanked and I always got lots of love as I cried about it. By it I do not mean the spanking, I mean that I pushed my parents to the point where that was the only way I would listen. I felt bad for not listening, not for the pain of being spanked. He always made sure he was not angry when he hit me. It was not an angry beating but one out of love. He cared enough for me to teach me that running in front of moving vehicles was not tolerated at any point, because I could die and I didn’t understand the concept of dieing at 3. It wasn’t till I was 7 that the concept was real in my mind. Which was another time I got spanked, because I put a nail in an electrical socket after (again) being told not to do it. I remember getting spanked and I just looked at my dad like “what did I do?” It wasn’t until my mother sat me down to explain what death was that I started crying. I truly believe that without the few spankings I’ve had I’d be dead. And a red ass that goes away in a few hours is a lot better than that.
